PDF The Great Integrity: Do we know our sexual nature or are we ashamed of it.

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Guidelines for Sexual Purity
Contents:
  1. 24 Comments
  2. PDF The Great Integrity: Do we know our sexual nature or are we ashamed of it.
  3. I suffered sexual abuse. I refuse to be ashamed any more
  4. The Great Integrity: Do We Know Our Sexual Nature or Are We Ashamed of It.

The moment this essential relational equation is disrupted, the human life-cycle ceases. The very possibility for otherness ceases and with it the possibility for the existence of love itself dies. The point of our sexual identity is monumental in its simplicity and crucial in its implications: Sex is designed by God to be an experiential portal into other-centeredness. Biological and psychological otherness , not sameness , is the design we see on display in human nature. If the two were the same—if each one was a biological mirror of the other—self-centeredness would be the only form the sexual relationship could take.

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Each would see in the other merely an image of himself, or herself, and the sexual act would be an act of self-love rather than other-love. The male and the female are, by intrinsic design, heterosexual counterparts. The distinction between maleness and femaleness was designed by God as the ontological environment in which the deepest levels of other-centeredness may occur.

Difference , not sameness , is the inherent design of human sexuality. Alright, then, it is undeniably evident that male biology and female biology are designed for union. If the human being is merely the product of evolution and therefore nothing more than a biological survival machine, it logically follows that sex is simply an instinctual physical act that carries no moral significance for better or for worse. So then, when Dr. In this context, monogamy can only appear unnecessary, prudish and at odds with satisfying our urge for sexual pleasure.

But if we humans were made in the image of a God whose core identity is self-giving love, then it logically follows that sex is more than merely an animal act. Far more, in fact.

PDF The Great Integrity: Do we know our sexual nature or are we ashamed of it.

If we are creatures of divine origin, sex must be, potentially, a thing of extraordinary beauty and blessing. It is no secret that the Bible teaches, rather explicitly, that the sexual aspect of human nature is designed for expression only within parameters of monogamous, matrimonial love.


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There is a world of difference between an arbitrary rule and an inherent law. The second entails restriction only for purposes of protection and flourishing.

I suffered sexual abuse. I refuse to be ashamed any more

Sexual monogamy is, in fact, inherent to the healthy operations of love. We know from bonding science—and from simply observing how relationships flourish and how they fail—that sex is more than a physical act. Sex creates a chemical condition in the body that basically communicates a message of monogamy.

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Said another way, monogamy is built into human sexuality as the natural desire and expectation. Once two people have had sex, if the relationship ends, there will be emotional pain because the sexual act is designed for the purpose of bonding them for life. As a powerful bonding action, sex merges a man and a woman together into a shared emotional environment of mutual security, trust and loyalty that makes love possible in an ever-maturing, increasingly-sensitive form.

Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist and distinguished research professor at Alliant International University in San Diego, California. Sex is a potent bonding activity. When we have sex, or when we even think about our sweetie, we are flooded with a bonding hormone called oxytocin. And what oxytocin does is it reduces fear in our brain, and it has us open up and trust and it makes us feel safe…. This makes sense of the big surveys in the US that have found that actually the people that have the best sex and the most thrilling sex are those in a long term, happy relationships….

In other words, sexual pleasure is maximized only when two minds are at complete rest with one another, which can only happen when two people possess the mutual security of knowing that each one is committed to the relationship for life. The picture painted of human sexuality in Genesis is beautifully innocent and inviting.

After all, the setting is designed for pleasure. So the Lord creates the woman and performs the first marriage. Here we are asked to contemplate a vision of one man and one woman together in an environment perfectly suited for innocent sexual pleasure. Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, science is chiming in regarding the benefits of monogamy.

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The Great Integrity: Do We Know Our Sexual Nature or Are We Ashamed of It.

We now know, not merely from biblical revelation, but from science as well, that the sexual union between a husband and a wife embeds the couple in the deepest levels of friendship human beings can know. The sexual dimension of the relationship is, by definition, an experiential portal into an exclusive intimacy, and it is precisely the exclusive nature of the intimacy that grants the couple access to a realm of love that transcends all the other relationships they have in life. Said another way, the human psyche is designed for exclusive sexual bonding. Optimal mental and emotional health are naturally derived from a relationship in which a man and a woman perceive in one another a mutual exclusive commitment.

It gradually builds into the relationship layer after layer of trust that puts the couple at ease with one another.

To be fully know and fully loved simultaneously is the secret of human flourishing. And that is exactly what monogamous love offers. Sexual pleasure is maximized only when two minds are at complete rest with one another, which can only happen when two people possess the mutual security of knowing that each one is committed to the relationship for life.

We are not built for serial dating and casual sex. In fact, sex without commitment injures us in a very tangible way by gradually lessening our capacity for trust. We are designed, rather, to experience lifelong faithfulness and relational integrity. It is in the nature of human sexuality to desire and expect monogamous devotion. Our very DNA cries out for it. At the deepest levels of our humanity we want exclusive commitment. It is important to inform from the top down. They do not want to promote the fact that people on campus live with fear because it paints a poor picture for the university.

Where is the consultation with all the students and all the people that come onto these campuses? One thing that can be done is wide consulting.

Different by Design

Universities also need work on changing attitudes and behaviours. The wider community needs to be talking about respect, boundaries and sexuality from a young age. The key messages should be delivered to younger people so universities can be a place where they reinforce that learning. There also needs to be posters up. Information needs to be all over the place and enforce positivity, not only helping people to report cases but in fact inviting people to report.

Universities should be actively seeking this information and not just waiting for people to report it themselves. We know that victims can be ashamed and reporting of abuse is low, which is proven through the report. They need to be looking, seeing and chasing that information themselves. Do you know of any school or university sexual consent education programs? If they are effective, what is it that makes them effective? A: There are some schools that do work towards creating consent culture.

Shine SA teaches consent like a curriculum for high schools, and they cover topics on consent and respect. They also have a primary school version that covers the topic at an elementary school level. If we are going to create a culture of consent within Australian society, at what age would we start educating children and how would that look? A: Basically, it needs to start from the beginning of life.

I think it should be from the start of life.